Sucker for Anything
by Ybarra87
Summary: Stan teaches Mabel the art of selling. Sequel to Worms. Takes place after Roadside Attraction. I do not own Gravity Falls.
1. Chapter 1 Photo Sale

It was a normal day at the Mystery Shack just like any other. Stan was currently teaching Mabel the art of selling to people. "You see Mabel people are suckers, you find out what a sucker wants and they'll pay anything to get it. It's just the matter of knowing what they want." Stan said.

"You mean like this watch?" Mabel said while holding out a gold rolex.

"Hey! That's my watch! You stole that!" Stan shouted.

"Well Gruncle Stan possession is 9/10 of the law and seeing how I'm holding it right now that makes it mine to sell so if you want it back pay me 50 dollars!" Mabel said with a huge grin on her face.

"WHAT! You have the nerve to steal my watch and sell it back to me?!" Stan shouted. Then he let out a big smile and said "You learned well. I am so proud. But seriously Mabel give me back my watch."

"Not until you pay me!"

"No!"

"Then you're not getting it back."

"Ugh. Five bucks." growled Stan.

"50!"

"Ten bucks!"

"50!"

"20 bucks!"

"The price isn't going to change."

"Alright, 20 bucks and a huge can of industrial sprinkles! That's my final offer!" Stan said.

"Deal!" Mabel shouted while handing Stan back his watch. She then said "Sucker, I would of just taken the sprinkles."

Stan then grabbed Mabel lifting her up "I have nothing left to teach you." Stan said with a huge smile on his face.

Just then a depressed Dipper walks into the room. Stan just takes one look at him and says "Yeesh. Why is he so gloomy?"

"Well ever since we got back from the road trip Dipper got it in his head that he isn't boyfriend material you know since he led on Candy and those girls. And to make matters worse Dipper found his test results to the dating quiz he took awhile back so now he thinks he die alone and single." answered Mabel.

"Well too bad there's not a sucker out there for him." Stan said as he walked out of the room.

"Maybe there is." Mabel whispered with a devious smile on her face.

Wendy was busying working at the counter until Mabel popped up out of nowhere and asked "Hey Wendy I have a plan to help cheer up Dipper and I was wondering if you and Soos can get him out of here for awhile so I can get this plan started?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Mabel. It might be best to let Dipper handle this by himself." Wendy replied.

"You get to leave early." Mabel said.

Wendy perked up and headed to the door while screaming "Hey Soos! Grab Dipper we're going to the arcade!"

Soos let out a chuckle and replied "Oh you got it Wendy!" as he picked up Dipper against his will and dragged him to his truck.

As soon as they were gone Mabel got out her phone to call Candy and Grenda. "Candy. Grenda. I got a plan and I'm gonna need your help." She said.

ONE HOUR LATER

Outside the shack Mabel has a stage with a curtain set up with Candy and Grenda helping her. Also outside with them were all the girls from town around Dipper and Mabel's age including Pacifica and Stan was out there watching them. All of a sudden Wendy walked up to Stan and asked "What's going on? What's Mabel up to?"

"Mabel said she's planning of selling something. I don't know what it is but it's something big." Stan replied. Then Stan asked "Where's Dipper and Soos?"

"Soos got stuck in an arcade machine again and Dipper's trying to get him out. He's stuck in there pretty good so it's going to be awhile." Wendy answered.

Mabel soon got on the stage and said "Now I bet all you girls are wondering why you're all hear."

"You bet we are! I mean I got better things to do with my time Mabel so this better be good!" Pacifica shouted.

"Yeah!" screamed all the other girls.

"Ladies, ladies please control yourselves." Mabel replied.

"You know Mabel's starting to become a lot like you Mr. Pines." Wendy said while giving one of her usual looks.

"I know it's great isn't it?" Stan said with a smile while wringing his hands together.

"Yeah. That's not exactly a good thing." Wendy replied.

"Okay I assembled you all here for the opportunity to buy something very special. Photos of my brother Dipper!" Mabel said as she pulled the curtain to reveal all different kinds of Dipper photos. All of the girls' eyes grew so wide that you can actually hear their surprise and shock.

"Whoa! We're so lucky Dipper isn't here right now!" Wendy said with a shocked look on her face.

MEANWHILE AT THE ARCADE

Dipper is currently trying to pull Soos out of an arcade machine until he all of the sudden stopped. "Dude why did you stop pulling?" Soos asked.

"I don't know for some reason I got a sudden chill down my spine." Dipper said with a look of unknown concern. He then returned to helping Soos.

BACK TO THE SHACK

"But these aren't any regular photos these are special photos. Like Dipper singing Disco Girl. His Summerween photo. My favorite Lamby Lamby Dipper! Then we have Mr. Mystery Dipper."Mabel said.

"I have to admit he pulls off that look real good." Stan told Wendy.

"Dipper kissing my ex-crush Mermando."

"Boy's love!" Candy cried.

"My other favorite wolf boy Dipper."

"ALL RIGHT A WEREWOLF PHOTO!" Grenda screamed.

"But Grenda you have Marius." said Candy.

"JUST BECAUSE I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T LOOK CANDY." Grenda replied.

"Plus so much more!" Mabel said. She then picked up a photo and said "Let's begin with this photo Lamby Lamby Dipper. NOW HOW MUCH ARE YOU GIRLS WILLING TO PAY?!"

Before anyone can say anything Pacifica stood up and shouted "I'll give you a hundred bucks for each photo!"

All of a sudden Stan ran up to the stage pushed Mabel out of the way and screamed "Sold to the snobby rich brat!"

"Gruncle Stan it's my sale so I'm the one who gets to say sold." Mabel said as she got back up.

"Okay, fine go ahead." Stan moaned.

Mabel then yelled "SOLD TO PACIFICA! SALE'S OVER! EVERYONE ELSE SCRAM!"

As all the other girls were leaving Mabel was currently giving the photos to Pacifica. "Here you go Pacifica. You must really like Dipper if you're willing to buy all the photos." She said with a huge grin on her face.

"Don't be ridiculous!" scoffed Pacifica. "I'm only doing this because I still owe for getting rid our ghost problem." she said as she looked through all the photos until she notice something. "Hey! Where's the wolf boy photo? I also paid for the wolf boy photo!"

Mabel realizing what happened turned to Grenda to see her holding the photo and said "Grenda give Pacifica the photo she paid for it fair and square."

"NO! IT'S THE CLOSET THING TO A REAL WEREWOLF I GOT!" Grenda shouted.

Mabel then went over to Grenda and whispered "Don't worry I made copies." Causing Grenda to hand Mabel the photo and then handed the photo to Pacifica.

"Thank you." Pacifica said as she looked at the photo causing her eyes to grow wide and let out a small smile making her utter "Ohh I don't have this one!" as she walked away.

However Mabel heard this causing her to give out a big smile bright enough to blind everyone. She had realized that Pacifica got the Wolf Boy Dipper that she tried to mail to her mom and dad because of Robbie. However the important thing she realized was PACIFICA LIKED DIPPER!

Finally able to piece it together Mabel ran screaming with joy to Stan and Wendy shouting "PACIFICA LIKES DIPPER!"

"What makes you say that sweetie?" Stan asked.

"Because she bought all of his photos!"

"That can mean anything Mabel. She's probably using them as target practice after all she's a brat. Don't you think so Wendy?"

"I don't know Mr. Pines. I think Mabel's right on this one." Wendy replied.

"WHAT!? There's no way she's right!"

"Oh yeah. I think I smell a bet coming on." Mabel said.

"Oh you got yourself a deal and I'm not doing the Stan Wrong Song if I lose which I won't! So what's the wager?"

"Well if I lose I'll wear the loser shirt for the rest of the summer and Wendy and Soos will work free for a week."

"What?! Mabel!" Wendy shouted.

"DEAL!"

"But if I win you have to join me for girl book night." Mabel said and then whispered the words "I got this" to Wendy.

"WHAT!? THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!"

"What's the matter Gruncle Stan? Chicken?"

"Oh you're on." Stan growled while shaking Mabel's hands.

"So Mabel, how are you going to prove Pacifica likes Dipper?" Wendy asked.

"Two words. BACHELOR AUCTION!" Mabel said while waving both her hands in the air.

"I don't know Mabel, you put a silver fox like me on the stage and it won't end well. The whole town will probably be split in half fighting over me."

"Not you Gruncle Stan. Dipper!"

"Okay but are you sure the rich brat will bid on him?" Stan said letting out a devilish grin.

"It's like you said Gruncle Stan everyone is a sucker for something and I'm positive Pacifica is a sucker for Dipper."

"Okay so when will auction and how will you get Dipper to go through with it?" Wendy asked.

"The auction will be tomorrow!" Mabel said with glee. "And as for Dipper we'll just force him to do it." Mabel said with a evil look on her face while wringing her hands together. She then pulled herself together and said "Okay, I'll go get Candy and Grenda then will discuss how we'll pull this off. Got it?"

"Got it." Stan and Wendy replied.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2 Auction

THE NEXT DAY

Dipper just finished breakfast was about to head into the woods until he heard call for him.

"Dipper could you come into the living room to help me with something?" Mabel cried.

"Fine Mabel." Dipper said as he walked to the living room but the minute he walked in he was cornered by Mabel, Candy, and Grenda. Confused he asked "Uh what's going on?".

Only for Mabel to respond with "GET HIM!".

The next thing Dipper knows he gets tackled to the ground by Candy and Grenda while Mabel approached him with a white rag and put it right to his mouth. Before everything went black Dipper heard Mabel utter the words "This is for your own good Dipper." and soon he was out.

ONE HOUR LATER

Dipper was groggy. For some reason it was hard for him to open his eyes and move as he was trying to all he could hear was voices.

"Is everyone here?"

"YEAH THAT'S EVERYONE."

"Is you know who here?"

"Yes she is Mabel."

"Mabel?" Dipper thought and remembered the last thing Candy and Grenda jumping him and Mabel approaching him with a white rag. "Wait" he thought "That white rag looks sort of familiar. Now I remember! I used it on Robbie and that weirdo from the government during the whole mail incident. Yeah I used chloroform on them. Wait chloroform? MABEL CHLOROFORM ME?!" At that moment Dipper was struggling with all his might to open his eyes and move.

"Uh Mabel I think Dipper is waking up."

"Why you're right Candy. Grenda go tell Gruncle Stan to start the show."

"YOU GOT IT MABEL!"

Just then Dipper's eyes open. "MABEL! YOU CHLOROFORMED ME?!" He shouted while trying to attack her however he noticed no matter how much he tried he couldn't get to her. That's when he noticed he was tied up to chair but that wasn't all he realized he wasn't in his normal clothes. "What am I wearing?" he asked.

"A tux." Mabel replied.

"Why a tux and what for?" just then Dipper heard Stan's voice and realize he was about to find out.

"TO ALL THE YOUNG LADIES HERE I AM YOUR HOST MR. MYSTERY AND FOR THE REASON THAT ALL OF ARE HERE IS FOR THE MYSTERY SHACK'S FIRST EVER BACHELOR AUCTION!"

"BACHELOR AUCTION!" Dipper yelled.

"I'm going to untie you now." Mabel said.

"Mabel I am not doing this!" Dipper protested.

"Yeah you don't have a choice and if you try to run Wendy has orders to shoot you with a dart gun." Mabel said while untying Dipper and pointing to Wendy holding a dart gun.

"Sorry Dipper but there's a week's pay riding on this." Wendy replied while keeping the gun on Dipper.

The moment Dipper was got free was the exact moment the curtain open showing that all the girls from Gravity Falls around Dipper's age were there.

"NOW I PRESENT TO YOU OUR ONE AND ONLY BACHELOR MY GREAT NEPHEW DIPPER PINES! THE TOP BIDDER IS ENTITLED TO ONE DATE WITH HIM!" Stan Said in to his microphone. While Soos was nearby with his keyboard pressing a bottom that said "Yeah!".

Dipper just walk up to the stage in front of the girls and just stood there just frozen in fear.

Stan wanting to get the auction spiced up and started said "Dipper start striking poses and show some muscle."

"But Gruncle Stan I don't want to." Dipper whined.

"Do it otherwise I'll put you in your wolf boy costume!"

"Yeah that's impossible it was destroyed." Dipper said with a smirk.

"I had a spare made." Stan growled with an evil grin.

"PUT HIM IN THE WOLF BOY COSTUME!" Grenda yelled.

Just then Dipper started making poses and showing off whatever muscle he had.

"WOOHOO! BEEFCAKE!" Grenda screamed.

Stan seeing this was going no where fast just turn to Dipper and said "Okay time to put you in your wolf boy costume. Come here!"

But just before Stan could grab Dipper a voice called out "One thousand dollars!" It was none other than Pacifica who was standing up holding a thousand dollars in her hand.

Stan not wanting to lose the bet he weaseled out the words "Are you sure none of you ladies want to make a higher bid? I can make him look more attractive."

"GRUNCLE STAN SELL HIM!" Mabel screamed from the backstage.

"What am I a piece of meat?" Dipper whispered scared and confused.

"Fine sold to the spoiled rich brat!" groaned Stan. He then yelled "AUCTION'S OVER! GET LOST!"

As all the girls were Dipper went over to Pacifica who was busy paying Stan. "Well I guess I owe you a date Pacifica."

Pacifica blew her lips and said "Don't be ridiculous I only bidden on you because I still owe you for the ghost problem and with this I consider us even so don't bother with a date." She then starts to walk off.

"Ha! No date means I win." Stan cackled.

"Mr. Pines that's cheating plus the bet was Pacifica would bid on Dipper and she did so you lost." Wendy said.

"Look the way I see it is that it doesn't count without a date so I win." Stan said with a smug look.

"Mabel help me out here." Wendy said hoping she doesn't lose a week's pay.

"Wait for it." Mabel replied.

Just then Dipper went running to Pacifica and said "Look Pacifica the way I see it you pay for me so I owe you a date debt or no debt. It doesn't even have to be a romantic date it can just be as friends. Heck I'll even pay for the meal. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Pacifica just looked at Dipper at let out a small smile. "Okay fine you win. I'll let you pick the place."

"AW COME ON!" Stan shouted

"Do I know my brother or what?" Mabel said with a huge smile on her face.

"Okay let get into my regular clothes and get some money then we'll go to Greasy's Diner." Dipper said to Pacifica.

"Greasy's Diner? Their food is horrible." Pacifica replied

"Have you ever eaten there?" Dipper asked.

"No."

"Then how do you know it's horrible?"

"Okay I'll go but there food better be good."

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think it was good. Now excuse while I go get some cash and then get changed." said Dipper. Then he ran over to Stan, Mabel, Wendy, Candy and Grenda. Dipper then asked "Gruncle Stan can you give me some money for my date?"

"No!" Stan growled.

"Gee it would be a shame if I decided to a friend of mine who happens to owe me a favor and is friends with an IRS agent." Dipper said with a grin.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"You're lucky I have respect for this kind of thing." Stan grumbled as he handed Dipper some money.

Dipper takes one look at it and says "Gruncle Stan there are Stan Bucks. I want real money. Now!"

"Here's 50 bucks and that's all you'll get."

"Thank you." Replied Dipper as he made sure he had real money. After confirming it was real Dipper then went over to Mabel and said "Mabel I need you to promise me that you won't follow me. It's nothing big it's just two friends going out. Okay?"

"I promise Dipper." Mabel said while secretly crossing her fingers behind her back. As soon as Dipper ran into the shack to get changed Mabel turned to the others and said "Okay let's get to the diner before Dipper and Pacifica so we can set up shop in the kitchen and listen to every word they say. Gruncle Stan I'm going to need you to drive us there and bring you're listening equipment."

Stan agreed even though he wanted to say no because of everything that happened so far he was afraid of what would happen if he said no.

"Okay everyone, Operation Make Sure Dipper Doesn't Blow This Date has officially started! Let's go!" Shouted Mabel.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3 The Date

A HALF HOUR LATER

Dipper had just came out of the shack wearing his regular clothes. He then went over to Pacifica who was standing next to a golf cart and said "Okay get into the golf cart I'll drive us to the diner."

"I am not getting in that thing." scoffed Pacifica.

"Then would you prefer to walk there?" Asked Dipper.

"Okay I'll get in."

They then got into the golf cart and proceeded to drive to Greasy's diner. When they got there Dipper helped Pacifica out of the golf cart and walked into the diner with her. The minute they got inside Pacifica was shocked at how bad the place looked but she trusted Dipper so she kept her comments to herself. As they proceeded to their booth Pacifica handed Dipper her purse and said "Hold this while I get into my seat."

"Ugh. This is heavy! What's in it?" Dipper asked.

"Oh just a couple of thousand dollars, my phone, some mace, and my hairspray." Pacifica replied as she got into her seat and took her purse back. She then saw Dipper looking around as he got into his seat and asked "What are you looking for?"

"Oh. I'm making sure we weren't followed by Mabel and I don't see her anywhere so I guess we're in the clear." Dipper said as he slowly relaxed into his seat.

Unfortunately Dipper didn't realize that Mabel, Stan, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda were in the back of the kitchen listening with Stan's hi-tech listening equipment. "Okay so far it's starting out nice so let's not jump in yet." Mabel said.

Just then Lazy Susan approached Dipper and Pacifica's booth to take there orders. Pacifica not know what to order asked "So what should I get?"

"How about we start out with the basics some burgers, fries, and shakes." Dipper answered.

"Okay if you say so." Pacifica replied. As Lazy Susan went to get their food ready Pacifica turned to Dipper to ask "So how did you get your tightwad uncle to give you money for this?"

"Easy, I threatened to call in favor to someone who's friends with an IRS agent." Dipper said confidently.

In back Stan just let out a low growl.

"You know someone who's friends with an IRS agent? How that happen?" She asked.

"Well let's just say it involves Robbie, mail being delivered to the wrong places, and videos of Mabel-" Dipper answered before Pacifica interrupted him.

"Say no more." Pacifica said and then went on "I already learned the hard way that when it comes to Mabel be prepared for anything."

"Boy is that right." Dipper chuckled.

"What are they talking about? I am adorable and a delight." Mabel said while unaware Stan and Wendy were rolling their eyes.

Dipper then went on "Well it basically ended with us getting even with Robbie and us cashing in on it at the same time. Too bad the only downside is that their are pictures of me out there somewhere and I don't know where they are. I just hope they don't wind up on the internet."

"Don't worry I would never put them on the internet." Pacifica whispered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Pacifica answer making sure Dipper didn't know she had his wolf boy photos and then went on to say "You know I sort of envy how close you and your family. I mean it looks like you guys go tough situations at times but at the end of the day you guys still stand strong. I just wish my family was a lot like yours."

"I met your father remember? I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to mess up his face someday. No offense." Dipper replied.

"None taken. I wouldn't be surprised if that actually happens." Pacifica said letting out a small chuckle.

Dipper then went on to say "You want someone to talk to there's always me and Mabel. I mean you can always talk to me and spend time with Mabel. Heck you can always join one of Mabel's slumber parties."

"I don't know about that. I have a feeling I would get overwhelmed quickly if I went to one of those." Pacifica said.

"Oh yeah I know what you mean. I slept outside once just to get away from it and ended up with a wolf chewing on my leg and an owl trying to eat my tongue."

"Wow, that must of been rough." Pacifica said with an amazed look on her face.

"Oh that was just the beginning of it. You see what happened next was-." Dipper then went on to explain the incident with the secret room and the carpet that made people switch bodies.

Meanwhile while Stan was listening to the story he had realized he had given the talk to Mabel who was in Dipper's body. "So that was you who got the.. you know." He said to her.

"I don't want to think about it. I still have nightmares about it." She said while shivering.

Stan then handed her a candy bar and said "Here forget it ever happened."

Mabel took it and said "I don't know Gruncle Stan sometimes the nightmares make me think of telling Mom and Dad what happened."

Stan then pulled out some more candy and replied "Oh you're good. Here this is all the candy I have."

Mabel with a grin on her face took the candy and started to consume it.

Just then Lazy Susan brought Dipper and Pacifica their food and they continued to talk while they were eating.

It was at that moment Wendy pulled Mabel aside and said "You were right Mabel. Pacifica does like Dipper but before you do anything I want you to at least listen to me okay?"

"Okay." Mabel said unsure of what was happening.

"It seems to me that right now those two aren't interested in anything more than friendship right now and if you decide to push you and Dipper could lose Pacifica as a friend for good. That is the last thing I want you two to go through. Do you understand?"

Mabel just remembered her encounter with the Love God and the mess she made back then. She immediately saw where Wendy was coming from and replied "Okay Wendy I won't do anything. But if those two are too stupid to act on their feeling in the future then I'll give them a push."

"Okay but just clear it with me first." Wendy chuckled.

"Okay." Mabel said.

Wendy then put her hand on Mabel's shoulder and said "Hey, some people that the best romances start with friendship. Don't you think so?"

"Yeah I think so too Wendy." Mabel replied.

Just then a huge limo pulled up in front of the diner. Pacifica look out the window and started to look upset. "Oh no. Not her." she uttered.

Dipper looked out the window and said "That doesn't look like your family's limo. I wonder who it belongs to."

"It belongs to a family who is rivals with the Northwest family. It's probably their daughter like usual." Pacifica said with an upset look on her face and then went on to say "She's basically the reason I am the way I am. My father wants me to be exactly like her but better. That's how it's been my entire life. I'm not allowed to do anything she doesn't do like I'm nothing but her clone."

"Who is this girl?" Dipper asked.

"Atlantia Southeast." Pacifica uttered.

Just then the diner door blew open and a girl with red hair walked in with four bodyguards. She was about a year older than Pacifica and was wearing a gold dress that clearly shouted out "I am richer and better than all of you!" She then went over to Dipper and Pacifica's booth and said "Well if it isn't my lesser self Pacifica."

"Hey Atlantia. What are you doing here?" Pacifica said in a depressed low voice.

"Well I happened to hear that the Northwest party hit a new low. What happened? You didn't have enough people there so you let the town in thinking I wouldn't find out? This just proves my point. You'll never be better than me. You're not even less than me. You're just nothing!" Atlantia said. She soon took a look at Dipper and said "Who's this cutie?" She then approached him and told him "Hey why don't you ditch this nothing and come out with me? I mean she's basically a wannabe version of me. So why eat this garbage called food with THAT when you can have something nice with me?"

Dipper then stood up and looked at Atlantia and said " You're right this food is garbage... CONSIDERING YOU'RE WEARING IT!" He then grabbed the food and dumped it all over Atlantia.

Mabel and the others had a shocked look on their face. She immediately said "Okay Dipper's gonna need our help!"

As Atlantia's bodyguards were busy trying to clean her up Dipper reached out his hand to Pacifica and said "Come on Pacifica we're leaving!" The moment after Pacifica takes his hand he turns to Atlantia and says "And just for the record the fact that Pacifica is nothing like you PROVES SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU!" Just as he and Pacifica head to the door Dipper gives Lazy Susan all the money he has and says "Here Susan. Here's the money for the meal and for the mess I made. Sorry about that."

The moment Dipper and Pacifica left Atlantia screamed out to her guards "Find out where they are going so we can teach them a lesson! NOBODY MESSES WITH A SOUTHEAST!"

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THEM!" It was Mabel with Stan, Wendy, Candy and Grenda standing beside her. She then screamed "GET'EM!" as she jumped toward Atlantia.

All of a sudden a fight started breaking out in the diner with Mayor Tyler nearby giggling and saying "Git'em! Git'em!"

As Dipper and Pacifica got near the golf cart Pacifica turn around and said "It's noisy in there. I wonder what's going on in there?"

"Who cares? She's probably throwing a diva tantrum." Dipper said. He then turned to Pacifica to ask "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No I don't want to go home quite yet. How about we to a place you go to?"

"Okay I'll take you to my secret place. I'm going to have to drive back to the shack since it's near there."

As Dipper and Pacifica drove away they didn't seem to notice one of Atlantia's bodyguards flying out the window behind them.

A while later Dipper and Pacifica arrived back to the shack and took a short walk into the forest. They shortly arrived at the spot where Dipper calls his secret place. It was basically a spot where trees and plants were around them. You could hear the sounds of animal and nature all around but the main thing it just felt peaceful the perfect place to get away from everything and just think.

"Well here it is my secret place. I didn't think I was ever going to show thins to anyone but then again I didn't think my day would start off with an auction." Dipper said.

"Yeah. I'm curious. Why did Mabel hold that auction in the first place." Asked Pacifica.

"I think I know why." Dipper said and went on to tell her about the road trip he took and what he did plus finding his test results to Mabel's dating quiz making him think he would never be a good boyfriend.

Pacifica just smiled and said "Dipper after what you did for me today you proved that any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend."

"Thank you, Pacifica. That really makes me feel better." Dipper said with a smile.

A of a sudden a voice comes out of nowhere saying "Well well well, what do we got here?" It was the gnome Jeff with an army of gnomes with him. "If it isn't Mabel's brother Dipper."

"What are they?" Pacifica asked.

"Gnomes." Dipper answered. He then asked "What do you want Jeff?"

"A new queen." Jeff answered.

"Jeff you know Mabel does not want to be your new queen so let it go." Dipper said

"Well if we can't have Mabel then I think we'll take that girl right there." Jeff said while pointing to Pacifica.

"There's no way I'm going to let Pacifica be your new queen so you can forget it!" Dipper shouted.

"Yeah I figure you say that which is why we'll handle you first. GET HIM!" Jeff screamed.

All of a sudden a whole bunch of gnomes jumped out of nowhere and jumped on Dipper tackling him to the ground.

"PACIFICA RUN!" Dipper screamed.

But Pacifica just stood there. She did not want to leave Dipper behind and she didn't want to be their new queen either. Slowly the gnomes began to corner her desperate she reached into her purse pulling out her mace and spraying it at the gnomes screaming "Take this!". Blinding all the gnomes until her mace ran out.

Jeff realizing he needed to be the one to grab her said "If you want something done right you need to do it yourself." while he slowly approaching her.

Pacifica then took a gamble by pulling out her hairspray and spraying Jeff with it.

"Hah! That didn't even hurt!" Jeff said but all of a sudden he stop and started feeling his beard. "Whoa! My beard feels so soft and firm! Hey guys come feel my beard! All of you come feel it!" He shouted. Suddenly all the gnomes rushed over to feel Jeff's beard with the occasional oohs and ahhs. Then he said "Wait a minute. Aren't you the guys that was suppose to be holding Dipper? Uh oh."

Dipper stood up and said "Pacifica get behind me!". After she got behind him he reached into his pocket for something. It was a pig whistle he got after a run in with Gideon. Dipper started using it causing all the gnomes to drop down, cover their ears, and howl in pain. He then stopped the whistle and said "Now we're going to leave now Jeff and you're not going to follow us. You got it?"

Jeff looked up to him and said "You know we won't stop. Not until we have our new queen!"

"So you won't stop until you have a new queen huh?" Pacifica said and then went on to say "How about I tell you where you can find a new queen and I can even tell you where you can get her?" she said with a devilish smile.

A few minutes later Dipper and Pacifica arrived back at the shack. "Well this was some day." Dipper said and then asked "Do you want me to take you back home?"

"No thanks. I think I'll walk home I mean after today I feel like I can take on anything." Pacifica said. She then kissed Dipper on the cheek and said "Thank you for today." before running off.

Dipper went inside blushing while holding his hand on the cheek she kissed. He then saw Mabel, Stan, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda sitting in the living room bruised and roughed up. "What happened to you guys?" he asked.

"We picked another fight with the unicorns again." Mabel said while immediately hiding her hands behind her back. "What happened to you?" she asked.

"Gnomes." Dipper said.

"So I guess you saved Pacifica from becoming their new queen huh Dipper." Mabel said.

"Actually Pacifica was the one who saved day. They had me pinned down to the ground and she managed to ward them off with mace. Then when she ran out she sprayed Jeff with hairspray and it was enough to get him to distract the other gnomes so I could get free and pull out this." He said while pulling out the pig whistle.

Mabel seeing this screamed "EVIL!" while she rushed to cover Waddle's ears. It was at that moment Dipper saw red hair stuck to Mabel's hand.

"Is that Atlantia Southeast's hair?" He asked.

"Uh. Maybe." She said.

"I had a feeling you were following us given today started with me in a bachelor auction and there's one thing I have to say."

"Dipper I only had the be-"

"Thank you."

"Dipper please forgive- Wait. Huh?"

"While I'm upset about the whole bachelor auction I understand why you did it and what today made me realize was I could be a decent boyfriend to someone someday."

"You know I just want you to be happy Dipper."

"I know Mabel."

"I guess the next thing we should discuss is what to do if the gnomes decide to go after Pacifica again."

"Oh yeah! I didn't finish the story so after I used the whistle Jeff started going about how he'll never stop until he gets a new queen. So Pacifica told him where he could find a new queen and who to go after."

"Who?"

"I'll give you a hint Mabel. You have her hair stuck to your hand."

"ALL RIGHT PACIFICA!" Mabel shouted while jumping up and making a fist with the hand that had Atlantia's hair in it and raising it in the air.

MEANWHILE ON A ROAD LEADING OUT OF GRAVITY FALLS

Atlantia was in sitting her limo with a black eye and a chunk of her hair missing. Her bodyguards were beaten up pretty good and could barely stay awake. "I can't that brat had the nerve to do that to me!" Atlantia griped. "As soon as I make it home I'm going to bad mouth Pacifica to the point where she will have no social standing. I mean that nothing is not better than me! And after I'm done with her I'm going after that brat and his stupid family! NOBODY MESSES WITH A SOUTHEAST!" Atlantia then noticed the limo was slowing down. "Driver why are we slowing down?" She asked.

"It looks like there's something in the road." Her driver responded.

"Then go around it." She whined.

"I would but it looks has no intentions of letting us pass."

"Well exactly is it?"

"I'm not exactly sure but it looks like a giant lawn gnome and now it's charging for us!"

Atlantia thinking her driver is delusional sticks her head out the window just to see what's going on. There she saw a giant gnome creature being controlled by Jeff screaming "GIVE US OUR NEW QUEEN!"

Atlantia screams "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

TO BE CONCLUDED


	4. Chapter 4 Epilogue

Inside the Mystery Shack Mabel was sitting in the living room with Candy and Grenda reading a book however Stan was also with them. Mabel just got finished with the reading the book and was about to close it. "The End. Now let's discuss what we thought of the book and what we think will happen in the next book." She said.

"Let me go first." Stan said. "First off this book was horrible! I mean the ending was terrible! I think it's stupid Joanna decided to be with Hair Boy instead of Edgar. He had everything. Fame, riches, power, but most of all evil. Instead she chooses the mutt. I mean she's probably feeding him dog food right now as we speak!"

"Okay, Gruncle Stan you do realize that Edgar was the villain right? Plus he didn't really love Joanna he just wanted her as a trophy wife." Mabel said.

"And what's so bad about that? He gets to show her off and she get's to be right sitting next to him as he takes over the town. But no she chooses Gerard I mean who cares if he's a stupid werewolf!" griped Stan.

"BUT MR. PINES GERARD MAYBE A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT BUT HE'S ALSO A CREATURE OF PASSION." Grenda said.

"Yeah well I'm a creature of greed but you don't see me stealing every wallet I see." Stan said while moving his arms around only for a wallet to drop out of his sleeve which he quickly put in his pocket. He then got up and said " You know what this book was stupid. In fact this whole series seems stupid! A waste of time! I don't care about the next book! I'm out of here!" However before Stan left he went up to Mabel and whispered "Let me know when the next book comes out." and walked away causing Mabel to form a big smile on her face.

THE END


End file.
